Swazi has long awaited a blog post 🙂
It’s about the 3rd week in Africa and am just now getting service to give you all a blog! It is really hard for me to put into words my experience so far. I genuinely think this has been one of the most growing months of my life. Not only has the Lord walked me through so much spiritually—moments of frustration, joy, heartbreak, and peace—but I’ve made some connections here that I will never forget.
My squad is currently split up, the guys in a city called Manzini and us girls in Nsoko. We are pretty much in the middle of nowhere—our base is surrounded by beautiful mountains and lots and lots of cows. It is most literally, the bush. No service for me! But this has been one of the greatest blessings, I’ve seen the beauty in slowing down and I have never felt more peace in my life. The quiet and simple is so nourishing for my soul.
Here’s what ministry looks like here:
We leave our base at 9am and get on a hour long bus ride over a couple very rocky mountains until we reach our care point, which is called Ngonini. A care point is a place that children come to usually after school or during the day for food and time to just play around. If you’ve ever served at Feed My Starving Children, Swazi is actually one of the places they sponsor. Some days this is the only meal that a child will get. At our care point there can be anywhere between 150-200 kids a day. We are there to be living witnesses of the life changing God we serve, support the leaders running the care point, cook and distribute food, and pour out as much love as possible on these kids. It has been the sweetest thing ever being with these children everyday. I adore them with all my heart, I’ve never met kids like the ones in Swazi. My team has made a sweet relationship is with our Shepherd, Kholewei. We call her Magechi, which in Siswati means leader. She is so spunky and fun, but also has a love and reverence for the Lord that is so beautiful. I love hearing her talk in our morning devotions.
When the kids are not at the care point my team will usually go around the community to spread love and encouragement to different homesteads. Seeing these people’s faces, getting to know them, praying over them, uplifting their spirits, reading them scripture, etc. has been some of the most beautiful moments. I’m especially grateful for human connection here. Swazi is hurting and desperate for the hope and love of our Father. My prayer is that they see even just a little but of Jesus in me.
Swazi’s are so incredibly kind, welcoming, and so, so joyful. You can see it in every kid and every adult you meet. It is hard for me to understand how they can be so joyful when there is so much hurt, abuse, and suffering here. I’ve had to ask a lot of hard questions and wrestle with this thought, but it all reminds me that true joy can only come from the Lord. When we are weak, he makes us strong. What a good Father we have that reveals his nature, that very nature of light, in the midst of every storm. I have simply been reminded of the Lord’s pure goodness. Suffering does not determine the life we can live with Jesus today.
I’ve specifically made an amazing relationship with 3 teenage girls (thirteen years old). their names are Sihle (which means beauty), Emma, and Anna. These girls honestly feel like little sisters to me. I can’t tell you how much love I have for them in my heart. We call each other family, and they call me their mom. Two of them specifically lost their moms at around 6 years old. I won’t lie, it can be really hard for me to navigate emotions here. My heart hurts for these children, and all they desire is to be loved. That’s exactly what my girls tell me a lot; they just want to be loved.
Lately I’ve felt like I don’t know how to love because I have a hard time accepting the love the Jesus has for me. But the Lord has been walking me through a lot with myself, learning how to see myself the way he sees me so therefore I can love the way he does. I don’t understand why he loves me, I don’t feel as though I deserve it. He’s revealed many parts of my flesh that are still living and all the brokenness and darkness that is inherently inside me. It has really hit my heart how desperately I am in need of him. And also how desperately I want him. It’s like you know all these things in your head but it is a whole other experience when it hits your heart. And it hits really hard. My only desire now is that he would flush out every impurity and take all of me away with him. That I would be hidden inside him. I no longer live, but it is him, only him, that lives inside me. I am simply a empty house for him to dwell in. I wish that he would take all of my heart at once so that I wouldn’t have to still live with my flesh. But with all of the frustration he’s taught me that knowing him through the refinement is even more special. You truly see and experience the real, tangible grace of God. And you get to watch alongside him walls inside your flesh breaking down, revealing more and more of him through you in the process. I feel like I know him, really know him, so much deeper than ever before. He wants you to know him in your brokenness. And oh how sweet it is when you start to realize that.
I’ve also been learning about being the Bride of Christ, which is a whole other topic that I will probably get into in another blog. But I will tell you it has entirely changed the way I think of Jesus and our relationship with him. Our entire existence revolves around this, it’s so cool!
I’m especially grateful for all the little things here. The sun, the birds, the smiles on every kid’s face. The breeze we feel from the windows as we go to ministry every morning in our little crammed bus. I’m grateful for all the little hands I’ve gotten to hold, the handshakes, and my tangled hair from getting it braided by them. I’m grateful that I have seen Jesus in the beauty and joy of the incredibly strong women we see everyday. Thank you Lord that you are so present.
I am sorry that I have been completely off the grid the last couple weeks. Africa is the one place that I will have almost zero connection in. I hope that this blog has showed you a little bit of my heart and experience here. Of course there is so much more I could tell you, but that would be pages and pages of words. We are here for about 4 weeks more. Thank you for reading this. I pray that you would know a little more of Jesus today.
-Liv
Also a fundraising update, I am still at 62% raised for this trip and am in need of about $7,200 more to be able to continue doing ministry this year. I will never stop thanking every single one of you who has given to this, I really pray that you have seen the fruit of your sacrifice. I can tell you from firsthand experience that there is so much fruit being produced here, and I know the Lord will continue to be so faithful throughout the other countries we will be going to. You have made a difference. My giving link is below if you feel led!
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